Helping & Complaining
by kamikaze101
Summary: Naruto is depressed about his breakup with Sakura and is up to Kiba to get his mind off the subject. But while doing this Kiba discovers some feelings of his own that he had yet to acknowledge. Will this complicate things or make them better? KibaNaru ;D
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: So this is my first KibaNaru fanfiction EVER! I've wanted to write one for a very long time but nothing came to mind and I didn't want to recycle someone else's KibaNaru plot either._**

**_But now, while on vacation, I got stuck in my hotel room because of bad weather so I decided to give it a try already. What started as simple notes and ramblings suddenly turned into this._**

**_I'm not sure if it turned out like how I intended but it sure was a fun way to kill time so I'm happy with it! Please let me now what you thought about it. Hopefully I'll have some kind of future in writing department ^.^_**

**_Title: Helping & Complaining_**

**_Pairing: Kiba & Naruto_**

**_POV: Kibacentric_**

**_Gerne: Humor & BoyLove_**

**_Disclaimer: Unfortunately Santa didn't bring me the rights of Naruto for Xmas so I still don't own it._**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

"How the heck does the entire school know I broke up with Sakura?" Naruto asked me.

I had a quick reply to that. "Just look at yourself. Damn. You look like shit."

"Kiba, you're the only person I told."

Well, fuck.

Oh well. I maintained my position. Besides, Shino, the only other person besides Ino who I officially told, was, as a good portion of people were, on a school trip today and therefore not present, so it's not like he could say anything right now. So I laid the bullshit down pretty thick.

"Naruto, you look like you just got mentally punched in the face. People know you broke up with your girlfriend because you are fucking oozing mental aguish, and chicks pick up on that real quick. We're not the ones with PMS, remember?"

Naruto, being so hung up on himself it was getting really pathetic, just hung his head. "Whatever, dude," he said. "I don't even care."

Score! So what if I knew beforehand that by telling Ino the news would spread in school like wildfire? Can you blame me? It was the happiest news I ever heard in my short live. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I hate Sakura or anything but she was a manipulative bitch and just plain wrong for Naruto. Don't look at me like that, it's not like I want Naruto for myself or anything. I'm not gay for him! I'm just, you know, looking out for a friend, that's all.

We decided to skip the cafeteria today, ending up on the far side of the roof, since it was seriously big news this Sakura thing. It blows my mind how ridiculous this is. I am reminded of why I usually hate everybody here. Mostly since a couple of girls actually came up to us in the hallway to see if it was actually true, in which they pretended to offer their condolences with offers of attending the school dance with him. Because you know, that's what's most important in a teenager's life, addressing that fear of attending a school function stag.

What the fuck. I was standing right there, simpering jackasses. But you know what, I wouldn't go to the dance with them even if they paid me. Hell, I wouldn't go to the dance _ever_. Eat it, bitches.

Naruto sighed. "Dude, I am filled with such regret right now. I didn't even think it'd be like this, but talking to her... She was crying and everything, and I just felt like the biggest jerk." Upon seeing the look on my face, he quickly continued, "But I would never get back together with her, but still, I didn't want it to end this way. With all of my other ex's, either the break up was mutual and we stayed friends or it was just a clean break- I mean, Karin like, up and left for Europe not three days after we ended."

"Uh huh," I said, not really paying attention. If Naruto was gonna keep being a whiny bitch like this, I was really gonna kick him in the head, for real.

"It was almost pathetic, like, it was sad, but I think she was just doing it to guilt trip me. She's pretty manipulative, after all." Naruto continued to talk, in an effort to convince himself that he wasn't the bad guy here. Which he wasn't, but he's just so goddamn _nice_, especially when it comes to girls. God, I wish he just hurried up and grew a pair of balls already. Seriously!

"And everybody's been saying that she was cheating on me with some guy name Sasuke too- what the hell? People spreading rumors about this shit- what next? That we broke up because she got pregnant? I didn't even get to sleep with her, goddammit!"

"No, no," I quickly said, "That'd be confusing your big gossip number with my big gossip number. You wanna skip the rest of the day?"

And I wasn't kidding. One time after summer break Hinata came back with a little extra weight and people, meaning Ino, just assumed she was pregnant. Then everyone started to gossip about it and just because I was closest to Hinata they assumed I was the father. Like what the fuck?! Even the teachers started looking at me wrong! That's why I fucking hate high school.

Naruto looked at me, and then looked down at his hands. Forever the golden boy, he answered, "No, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Yeah, you're right, I haven't stared at Kurenai's tits for a while, and I saw her in the hall today and she was wearing that skirt suit thing where she shows a bit of cleavage. Nice. How about soccer? Skip practice." I haven't hung out at Naruto's for a long time, and I missed his vast TV and giant fridge. I also start work tomorrow at the pet shop, so this would be the last time for a while. Unless I head over there next weekend, which I'd probably be too busy sleeping or something.

"Dude," Naruto sighed, "I shouldn't do that either..."

I stood up. "If I kick you in the crotch right now, I bet you wouldn't even flinch because your balls have receded back into your body and transformed into egg sacs. You pussy."

"What do you want me to do? I'm the captain-"

"Co-captain. Lee's in today. He can handle it. Not like missing one practice will demote you or anything. Besides, look at you. Pathetic."

He laughed. "Maybe," he said. "I don't have a game until next Thursday, that's true."

In the end, it didn't matter anyway since practice was canceled.

But instead of me going to his place like I wanted, he suggested that he just tag home with me. I tried to argue with that my home was a lot lamer in comparison to his but then I realized that he just didn't feel like taking public transportation either and that he'd rather kill time with me before going uptown to meet up with his dad to get a ride home from him. And I respected that because I would totally do the same.

Meanwhile, I was trying to think of things we could do to get him over this Sakura business quickly. I mean, the entire thing is retarded to me; he's the one who broke up with her. It's the most pussy thing ever, and I just want to smack him. It's a good thing that I'm just a god damn good friend though. Even Ino said something about that as we were all leaving. Or, she was leaving, I was waiting for Naruto.

"So what are you doing now?" I had asked her.

"I have a photo shoot actually," she had said, pulling out a camera bag as she spoke.

"Oh yeah, you're still doing that."

"Why, what are you doing?"

I had paused for a second, looking thoughtful, "Oh, I dunno, Naruto, as we all know, looks like shit, so I think I'm gonna go hang out with him. You know, dicks before chicks and all. Bros before hoes. Kinda cheesy."

"Oh wow," she had said, trying hard to keep a serious face, "That's really thoughtful of you."

"Eh," I had shrugged, all casual and cool, "It's nothing, really."

"That's so cute, you guys share clothes, buy each other lunch, what else? I bet you guys have sleepovers-"

"Okay, now you're just making us sound gay. Shut up."

Her laugh was the last thing I heard before I left, or at least the last sound I paid attention to, so understandably I was in a pretty good mood, even with Naruto being some whiny pussy straggling behind me.

"Okay, what would make you grow some balls?" I asked him on the walk home.

"I don't really feel like doing anything, can't we just play video games?" Naruto mumbled.

I paused for a moment. "Fine," I said. I couldn't think of anything at the moment, or at least anything that was in my budget that could top that. I did think for one second of dragging him over to a strip club just because it'd be the stereotypical thing to do. But then I remembered that my life wasn't a dude movie and that I was broke and Naruto didn't seem to be the sort of guy who'd take to that idea anyway.

We got to my place and I knew the second I opened the door that something was off. It took me a while as I walked in and kicked off my shoes, but I think it was because the night light we have next to the bathroom was out. A necessity since both Hana and I have almost killed ourselves on separate occasions in the pitch black of night. There was this one incident in which Hana somehow managed to walk, forehead first, into the doorframe of the bathroom. It was something I didn't let her live down until the bruise went away. And still did, up until I got punched in the face, so I guess we're even now.

"Wow, has your place always been this dark, even in the day time?" Naruto asked as he hit one of the switches.

"That's usually what happens when you live in shitty places," I said, frowning as the switch he was hitting produced no results, "Why, afraid of the dark?"

"When I was six," he said as I moved on to try some of the lights in the kitchen: nothing.

"God dammit," I said to myself as I tried everything in the room.

"Dude, is the power out?" Naruto finally questioned. "Like, the entire building?"

"I'm pretty sure that if it was, this entire city block would be gone, and we would've noticed that."

"Yeah."

"Besides," I added, "how else would my upstairs neighbor be blasting their music?" We both looked up, where indeed, the sound of some whiny crooner floated through my ceiling

"Maybe that's just your neighbor. Singing," Naruto suggested.

"Hmm," I said, already attempting to call Hana on my cell phone. If she had forgotten to pay the bill, then that was one thing (which pisses me off) but it'd be another thing if she had paid, but the company didn't get it (which also pisses me off). Pretty much, I was already pissed off and it could only escalate. This was like, the equivalent of coming home on a cold winter day, ready to get all warm and toasty inside your cozy little home, only to find out that you live in an igloo. That an avalanche ran over so now you can't even find it. No, wait, that was stupid- this is like, putting in all the ingredients yourself while making some sort of delicious meal, a meal that you've made many times and you've done nothing different- only, when you sit down to consume your delicious meal, it tastes like stirred poop left toasting on a warm sidewalk for no good reason and you're just like, 'Why god, why?'

Okay so now I'm the one getting whiny. I don't know why this pissed me off so much, but it did. Possibly because this isn't something that you can't point fingers at, in which, most of the time my anger is displaced since I can't blame any one thing in particular, but in this case, I can.

The culprit, Hana, didn't pick up, and I flipped my phone shut. Me. Hulk. Smash. Soon.

My list of Things that Tick Me Off:

1. Packs of slow walking people. It's like, I need to get somewhere and I can't quite get there at the time and speed that I want to if you're gonna walk shoulder to shoulder, taking up the entire sidewalk. Yes, I'm talking to you, tourists. I'm sure where you come from you have buildings too, so I do not see why you feel the need to stop every five feet to take a picture of a bunch of shit that your town or city has also. Do you even know what you're taking pictures of? Or were you just like, 'Hey, this structure looks really unique! Let's take a picture!' Good job, you just took a photo of an office building. That looks just like every other office building.

2. One time, Hana decided to not do the dishes, ever. It took about two weeks until every piece of kitchenware was in or somewhere near the sink and covered with a slimy film of grease and there was neither room nor anything to eat or cook off of or with- that was when I finally buckled down and washed every goddamn thing there. And then I found out that Hana was actually just testing to see how long it'd take me to start washing the dishes without her telling me to, and then I got pissed, and vowed to never wash a single plate. And then she did that to me again and then I got even more pissed when I found out that she secretly stashed plates and shit in her room so she'd never run out of forks. Yeah, what the hell?!

3. I don't mind winter- well, I do, but I don't mind it in a way that my life's goal is to move to someplace without seasons. However, I do mind having to wear all of these extra layers- only to sweat like a pig whenever I move into the sun, or walk a little faster or stop inside. I swear to god, I sweat more in the winter than I do in the summer, and then because it's winter, I notice it more because after I sweat, I get colder a lot faster. And also, for you other people: just because it's not summer, doesn't mean that you should stop putting on deodorant. You stink!

4. When I have to stop talking even though I'm not done yet. It's not even when people cut me off, but when I'm naturally forced to trail off, and nobody really cares enough or was listening at all so nobody actually enquires about the end of the story because we're already focused on someone else. And then it's awkward for me. What the hell people, just because I don't listen to your inane drivel doesn't mean that when I talk you can assume it's also insane drivel and just tune me out over time- when I speak, I speak _truth_.

5. When people take me too seriously. When I say something like, 'I would totally pay fifty dollars to some random dude to smash that guy's greasy face into a sheet of blotting paper taped to a brick wall,' do you really think that I would do that? I mean, why the hell would I pay somebody fifty dollars when I could do that shit myself?

But seriously, all we wanted to do was play video games, was that too much to ask? Was it, fate? Are you all up in here again? Are you challenging me? C'mon, show yourself. I dare you.

"So what are you gonna do?" Naruto interrupted my mental stare down with an omnipresent being that wasn't actually a being but a near frivolous concept, a stare down which I was winning by the way. He hadn't even bothered to take off his shoes and was still lingering by the doorway.

I thought for a moment, reminded myself that it was Friday, and then made a resolute decision. "We go."

We tossed the school blazers and changed. I let Naruto leave his bags of crap here. He couldn't make up his mind whether or not he should just drag everything with him because if he did, he would probably just end up going home which was something he didn't want to do just yet, but if he didn't, then he'd have to come back here and pick it all up which would be kinda redundant if we were heading uptown anyway. And I swear to god if he didn't decide in two seconds, I'd burn it all which I don't think he realized was an option.

But in the end he left it there because seriously, there was a twenty ton calc textbook in that bag. I sure as hell was not gonna help him if he did lug that shit around town and I told him I would punch a bitch if he dared to even think that I'd carry something for him at all. I liked Naruto, a lot actually, but that didn't mean I was willing to baby him just because he feels like crap.

On the way up to see Hana, who I assumed was working at the diner she was usually working at on Fridays; I decided that I wasn't so mad. At least, in dropping by her job, she could sneak me a free milk shake and perhaps a free meal as well. Maybe get some fries to feed Naruto.

We paused outside the diner. There was a time in my life when I would stop by like, once a week, at least, just to mooch some free food and whatever. There's this oldish lady there that apparently loves me. Hana would tell me that every time they shared a shift she would ask Hana how I was and just gush over me and whenever I showed up she would, without question, place heaping amounts of food in front of me and it was AWESOME. And then one day I waltzed in there and the manager caught me helping myself to another plate of fries so... that was the end of that. Funny story actually; I uh, pretended I had autism or some weird mental tic so Hana wouldn't get fired, just pitied- and it worked. I was just banned for life and most definitely going to hell.

"Wait," Naruto said, and peered up at the fluorescent sign, "Are you sure that she works here?"

"Um, yes?" Even I was confused, the entire place looked like it had a make over. Like some bad mid life crisis or something as if the diner was some old woman who was trying to get her groove back… and failing. "Well the layout's still the same and all," I said, pulling the door open, "Maybe they just changed the outside." I corrected myself when we walked in, "... And the inside. Ooh, maybe this means they changed the management so I can start coming back."

Naruto gave me a funny look, and I realized I never told him about that incident. "Wait, what does-"

"How many? Two?" A blond guy who had a similar hairstyle to Ino walked up to us, clutching menus.

I scanned the dining area, "Oh, I'm actually just looking for my sister. Is Hana here?"

The guy looked confused, "Sorry?"

"His sister," Naruto stepped in, as if blonds spoke different dialects, "Kinda looks like him, about the same height, goes by the name of Hana?"

He cocked his head and looked at me, and then glanced behind him, "I don't think anybody like that works here," he slowly said. A guy walked out of the kitchen then, balancing six plates up his arm. "Sasori!" The guy suddenly bellowed, and both Naruto and I jumped in surprise since we weren't expecting the sudden increase of volume from such the girly looking guy, "Is a Hana here?"

Sasori sent the blond a glare, "What are you talking about Deidera?" and then he continued on his way.

"So yeah... I dunno, unless she just started, like, this week." Deidera turned around again and the three of us scanned the room once more, and this time I noticed I didn't recognize any of the waitresses and busboys. Before, the place catered to families and the like but now it looked like there was an attempt to make it some young and hip franchise.

"Definitely not, she's been here for almost two years..." I trailed off, seeing where this was going.

"Oh," the male version of Ino said, "Um, well, this place just opened a few weeks ago- as far as I know, the owners now bought out the place that was here before and then they shut it down for renovations for a little bit and I don't think anybody from the old wait staff was rehired..."

"Mother fucking bitch!" I yelled and stalked out the door as Naruto apologized for me. I seethed on the sidewalk for a while, as Naruto stood a little ways away because he knew getting too close would guarantee an irate fist to the face.

Seriously though, remember how I was bitching for a short moment before about Hana? Well add how Hana never tells me anything to that list. Now, I don't want her telling me stuff since I don't really care about stupid shit, but things that I should know, _I_ _should know_! What, did she think that her losing her job had nothing to do with me? And if she wasn't working here, where was she? And did she even get another job? Is this why she made me get that job at the pet shop? What the fuck?

We stood in the darkening twilight on a concrete path, surrounded by nicely kept grass and young trees. I hadn't realized that it was getting dark quicker, which is what happens when you're constantly surrounded by street lamps and such, and this thought flitted through my mind in an almost abstract way. Over here we were almost in suburbia, the downtown portion of the city glittering to our right.

"So, what now?" Naruto asked me after giving sometime to cool off. When I didn't answer right away he continued. "I think I should go," Naruto said, checking the time on his phone. "Yeah dude, I have to go."

"Well good luck with that, all of your shit's at my place," I said as we stood peering up at a large billboard showcasing the latest 'it' movie. I had tried calling Hana three times on our way here but to no avail.

Naruto shuffled his feet. I was surprised he so obediently followed me here. Possibly because he was just waiting for a certain time so he could meet with his dad and hitch a ride home, but also because I was holding his school work hostage. Also strange is that usually whenever I got pissed, he'd laugh at me or tell me to chill the fuck out, usually whenever I was pissed at school people, but this was a different sort of situation where I guess he didn't know what to do, so as a default, just... tagged along. Until now.

And I'm not gonna let him ditch me, because according to my plan (the one I'm coming up with right... now) as long as I can keep him around it'll be easy to make Naruto not think about himself and his so-called 'sad' predicament. Not like I made this happen or something, but having him realize that I have to deal with basic shit like, 'where is our income?' hopefully broadens his mind a bit. Also so that the next time he goes all emo about Sakura, I can get all emo about utilities. Yeah, I totally win that one.

"Okay so here's my plan" I said pointing at the billboard and turning around to face him. "We're gonna go see that movie over there and then we're gonna go back home and hope that by some goddamn miracle the lights will be back."

Naruto paused and raised an eyebrow at me, seriously though, I dunno what the fuck about because it's like, hang out with me or go home? Is that even a choice? Does that even need to involve a thought process?

"Come on already!" I finally berated him with a smack to his shoulder. "Godammit, you owe me."

"For what?"

"Man, for giving you this awesome opportunity to be with me all day!" I said gesturing to myself like I was god's gift to the world.

"Please" Naruto snorted. "You're so full of yourself"

I rolled my eyes at this and grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to the cinema "Oh come on already, you know you'll like it." I said even though it was me who was actually trilled. Hey don't look at me like that I'm talking about the movie not Naruto. I already told you I wasn't gay for him. And no, I don't plan on letting go of his wrist either so fuck off. At least I'm not holding his hand! Though it wouldn't bother me to do so… oh shut up we're getting out of topic here.

So where was I? Oh yeah so when we arrived at the theater there was already a huge line for the ticket booth, who knew? But that didn't really bother me. What did rub me the wrong way however was that right behind us was a pair of girls our age that started to flirt with Naruto immediately after they laid eyes on him and completely ignored me.

I mean what the fuck? Have some decency bitches. I know that girls are usually drawn more to Naruto because he a nice guy and all that but what about me??? Will I always be the observer, the little brother, the best friend, the sidekick, the fucking supporting character?! I'm also a good enough looking boy and I'm standing right in front of you if you didn't notice.

Okay lets backpedaled on the nice guy thing a little because I think it's important to point it out. When I describe Naruto as a nice person is because he is genuinely a nice guy. Girls tend to always chat with him because he doesn't have that 'skeevy' factor that people like, I dunno, Neji has (where everything that kid says has a sexual undertone). Also, Naruto doesn't go out of his way either. For Naruto, girls usually came to him. He'd be a complete nobody if he was ugly, and he knew it which I guess is why he's so nice. Or who knows, maybe he was a fat kid before we met. Maybe I just can't figure out why anybody would be so nice without reason.

Anyways by the time it was my turn to buy the tickets I was already pissed off, again. And the fact that the girls were going to see the same movie we were wasn't helping. So when I got by the stand an idea hit me. Doing a total 180 I moved back to the trio and told them the movie was sold out. The girls were skeptical but before they could question me or worst, suggest we watch something else, I re-grabbed Naruto by the wrist and not so politely pull him away from those clingy bitches. Haha, eat my dust suckers!

I heard Naruto protesting but I paid no mind to it. I was doing him a favor after all by getting him away from them… or was I? It was then that I found myself wondering why I was doing this in the first place. Was it jealousy? And if so, was I jealous of Naruto because of all the attention he was getting or was I jealous of the girls because they had a shot with Naruto? Wait, what am I saying, I don't like Naruto that way… or do I?

When we got home I noticed that all the lights were on meaning that the power was back. I bellowed in joy as I made a move for my Xbox360. "Yahoo, now we can finally get this show on the road!"

Naruto said nothing and just grabbed a controller and made himself comfortable on my couch. I was about to go join him when I suddenly noticed that my game console didn't turn on like it was supposed to. I tried it again and when I got no results I was like what the hell, turn on already you electricity sucking piece of shit!

Then Naruto started to laugh and when I asked him what he found so funny he pointed out something I hoped never to see. 'The Ring of Death', yep you heard right, my Xbox360 decided to kick the bucket just when I needed it the most. Now I was officially pissed. "Fuck you Microsoft!!!"

My other list of What Pisses Me Off:

1. People in general. I've long since figured out that a good majority of people should've been shot. I know I sound like a bastard, but seriously. Whoever let that blond bimbo, the one who's always in the news for being rich or something annoying like that, live, much less acknowledge her existence should be beat with a shovel. Who cares? Not me.

2. Not being able to afford the bling. I'm actually kind of used to this, since Hana and I've been scrapping around for years and we've somehow survived, but hanging out with really rich people like Naruto and the school crew... well, it sickens me to see how much they waste and what they take for granted. Sometimes I just want to go and break into their houses and steal all their shit just to spite them. And for profit. And because I'm jealous. And I really, really want a new laptop. (Which, in case one was wondering, I bought the one I have now off the street for insanely cheap because it was obviously stolen.)

3. Bratty, spoiled children. I can't stand my generation and the kids younger than me because we're all spoiled by technology and our parent's hard work and lack of supervision. And they think they're hot shit because they were fortunate enough to be born into a mildly wealthy family and have no idea how easy they have it and piss and rant about the most retarded, shallow things. There are children starving in other countries! Attempted genocide in the Congo! The fact that your cell phone doesn't have a camera on it even though you wish it did doesn't even compare.

4. When you get a plate of oranges for desert at a Chinese restaurant, and it seems like they're all end pieces. Like, it looks like a perfect slice, until you pick it up and look on the skin side, and it's one of the end pieces. Good god, that makes me so angry! Dammit!

5. When I'm standing in line, and someone cuts like, five people up and nobody does shit about it. And I'm sitting there at the end going, what the fuck? And I end up giving dirty looks and glaring at everybody in front of me for their passiveness. Sheep, they're all sheep. Mindless, grass chewing sheep.

6. People. I know, I know, I said this already, but let us examine all the things I've listed already that piss me off. All caused by other people! Notice how not one of my annoyances has been caused by some natural occurring event. Except maybe pigeons. Okay, fine, I'll add pigeons.

7. Pigeons. Actually, they're not that annoying. Just when they're all in your face and their crap which is sprinkled everywhere. Oh, which reminds me.

8. People who own dogs but don't take care of their shit. Like, that's nasty when you see some high end woman in her high heels and skirt walking her little dog, and the dog takes a shit, and the woman looks around, and pulls the dog away as fast as she can and makes an escape because she doesn't want to be seen picking up shit. So on the sidewalk would sit a little pile of turd, which someone like me would inevitably step on since my luck sucks like that. Bastards.

9. Myself. This was also inevitable, because I too, am a person and therefore under the category of people. Not to get all self absorbed and disgustingly pitiful, but let's face it. I suck. I'm kinda mean, I'm always pissed off, and I'm ignorant because I choose to be because life's a little easier that way. And I'm kinda pretentious because I mock everyone else and when I make sarcastic remarks, half of the time I truly mean it. No, cross that; most of the time I mean it. Also, I suck because I appear to lack some essential emotions and social skills. Hence why I've never had a key group of friends I really felt like I belonged to. Or a girlfriend, but that's a completely different issue. And oh yeah, I totally made out with Hinata and didn't even really want to or mean to and thus accidently got myself involved in some typical highschool drama.

Naruto yawned, taking me out of my trance, and suggested we should just watch a DVD instead. I relented and went to make some popcorn while Naruto scanned my mere collection of DVDs, all bootlegged by the way, and then we sat together on the couch as we played his choice. Not 20 minutes after the movie stated I dozed off.

When I woke up the credits were already playing and I spotted Naruto asleep with his head resting on my shoulder. How'd that happen I didn't know and frankly I couldn't care less. I felt my face heating up at our closeness to each other but then I took in Naruto's sad demeanor and I felt bad and guilty. The poor guy was probably dreaming about his breakup with Sakura and here I was being the selfish prick I always am. Man, am I a sucky friend or what?

I brushed off the hair out of his face with the hand he wasn't resting on to get a better look a his face. Gazing at him I couldn't help the need to apologize, even if he wasn't listening.

"I'm sorry Naruto for being such a terrible friend. Today was supposed to be fun and about getting your mind off of Sakura but I went and screwed that up with my shitty problems and other crap. I don't know why you put up with me to begin with. If I were you I would have ditched me a long time ago. I guess that's why I like you so much. Only you give me the time of day. Again, I'm so sorry for being an ass, you deserve much better than me."

After finishing my little heartfelt speech with the sleeping form beside me, I slipped the arm he was leaning on and wrapped it around his shoulders pulling him closer to me and then kissed him on the forehead before letting sleep claim me once again almost instantly. So I never noticed when a few minutes later Naruto snuggled more into me with a happy smile on his face.

That morning I woke up to find Naruto no longer near me and I panicked. What came over me last night? I tried so hard to convince myself that I didn't like Naruto that way and then I go and to that?! He probably already left, possibly even hates me.

Just then as if on cue, before I could go deeper into my self-loathing, Naruto entered the room munching on some bread and butter. "Good Morning sleepyhead, you should really stock up on your groceries 'cause your kitchen closet sure is empty. Want some?" He finished by offering me some of his bread.

I took a big mouthful of it to give me some time to think. Naruto was obviously unfazed by the cuddling or maybe we just woke up apart from each other. We're both a little on the hyperactive side so moving around in our sleep enough for him to fall out of the couch was a real possibility. Whatever the reason I'm just glad nothing awkward is happening between us.

Yet when I finished the piece I was eating I took notice of Naruto's backpack hanging from his shoulder and the warning bells immediately rang again. "Are you leaving already?" I asked hoping it didn't came out as scare sounding as I felt.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, Dad called a few minutes ago and told me to come home already. I didn't tell him about sleeping over here because I didn't plan on it so I'm kinda grounded."

Totally relieved to hear the reason I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and walked him to the door. It was on the doorstep that he turned around to speak again. "Thanks for yesterday Kiba. I got completely distracted with everything that I didn't think about Sakura all day, and today when I woke up I realized that I'm actually over it already. So thanks for hanging with me."

He smiled broadly when he finished saying that and it made me feel warm all of the sudden that I had to turn my face away to hide the blush that I'm sure was spreading across my face. I started to scratch the back of my head nervously as I tried to brush it off. "I ah- um well, that's what buddies are for so there isn't any need to thank me or anyth-"

I cut myself off in shock as I a pair of lips on my cheek. When I turned around to face Naruto again he was already running off yelling about how I should come over to his house later today after I got out from work. Completely in the daze I shut the door closed and leaned my back on it only to let myself slip down slowly but surely until I was sitting on the floor. I rose a hand to touched my cheek as what happened finally sank in. "Did Naruto just kiss me?"

"What are you doing on the floor?"

I looked up to see Hana in her pajamas staring at me funny while brushing her teeth. For a moment I simply stared back completely forgetting that I was still mad at her for not telling me about her job and for not picking up the phone yesterday because it really didn't matter to me right now.

"I think I'm in love"

She raised an eyebrow as she waited for me to elaborate but when I didn't she just shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, okay then. Just don't forget to take out the trash will ya?"

After I nodded she left for the bathroom. Which was good because having her stay in the picture seriously reduces the significance of this moment. What moment is this you ask? Well the moment that I finally admit to myself that yes, I am gay for Naruto. Now fuck off 'cause I need my privacy. Sheesh!


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: So yeah I noticed that a lot of people placed this one-shot on their alert list. That got me thinking like 'Hmm, if people alerted this fanfiction does that mean that they want another chapter?'**_

_**That's basically the thought process that made decide to just go ahead and make it into a two-shot! Ingenious I know. Sometimes I even surprise myself too ^.^**_

_**Title: Helping & Complaining Part 2**_

_**Pairing: Kiba & Naruto**_

_**POV: Kibacentric**_

_**Gerne: Humor, Drama & BoyLove**_

_**Disclaimer: I just had a rude awakening when I realized that there are still a lot of things that money can't buy. Darn it Kishimoto offer me a prize already!!! (I'm joking people, I'm joking)**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Two weeks had passed since that fateful day that I discovered my feelings about Naruto yet everything remained the same… and it infuriated me to no end!

Throughout these whole two weeks nothing had changed. Naruto was back to his old lively self but acted like if he had never kissed me. He never mentioned the subject nor acted any different toward me. Not even when we were both alone did he hint at it.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy that he isn't avoiding me or anything of the sort but DUDE give me something to work on! At this point I'd even take a moment of awkward silence between us like if there was a big pink elephant in the room that everyone was nervous to address.

I'm not picky, I settle for anything that would give me even the slightest indication that I wasn't the only one thinking about it. That it happened. That it wasn't overlooked. That it fucking meant something!

It should come to no surprise that as the days passed my mood got pissier and my temper started worsening. I started to snap at anyone who dared look at me wrong. The other day I swear I barked at a cat that tried to cross in front of me. Sure that garnered a few funny looks from the people around me but fuck them. I'm a teenager and by definition I'm allowed to be moody when I don't get what I want.

What are the things I want you ask? Here's the List:

1. A theme song. How hot would that be? But it better be some kind of badass gansta hip-hop or a heavy punk rocker kind of thing because my life certainly ain't no shitty love song.

2. A gang/posse. The hardcore ones like in the movies- where all I'd do is snap my fingers and they'd all pop up for my beck and call.

3. A new computer. My video card now is barely capable of keeping up with the violent games I have a tendency to play. A damn shame. And I don't have enough memory to do anything.

4. An awesome social life. Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like if my phone was nonstop ringing of people just calling just so they could bask in my presence. Hmm, nah let's cut this one, it'd probably end up more annoying than anything. Really annoying. God what was I thinking! Definitely X out this one. As if I have time to care about social standing. But at least I'd feel loved.

5. A billion dollars. You know why.

6. A photographic memory. I'd nail tests so bad, and studying would consist looking through textbooks as if they were flip books. Granted, I'm already pretty good in the winging it department, enough to get me through school, but... A lil more wouldn't hurt none.

7. To be quoted. Not like, unofficially like, "Yeah, and Kiba said," but officially. As in, 'As Kiba proposed, "The assets of a true porn star is that they would have to have larger than double D jugs," (145, The Great Life of Kiba Inuzuka)'.

8. A soundtrack of my life. Like, while looking out into the sunset, while pondering about whether or not I should insert important options here. Or like, when I hatch a devious plan or something. Or a contemplative car ride in which it signals a change in my life. But I suppose my theme song would also have a part in this.

9. Some extraordinary talent. Aside from lying and explicit timing (seriously, I used to have this innate thing with showing up at certain places at the exact right/wrong time, depending on the situation), I have nothing. For all I know, I could be a champion duck caller, but I wouldn't know now would I? Oh Christ, I hope not. What a waste that'd be. Me being in the city and all that.

10. And last but not least, Naruto. I don't really have any specifications for this one. All I know is that I want him to want me back. Selfish I know but hey, I never pretended to be Mother Teresa here so buzz off.

God, you'd think that after figuring out something as hard as whether you do or don't like somebody enough to throw yourself out there belly up, the rest should follow some protocol and click in place, but man, it does not. And I haven't even thrown myself out there yet. I suppose it's the part about finding out if the feeling was mutual or not what is the hardest.

I mean, I don't actually know for sure if Naruto likes me back. He is so fucking weird; there's absolutely no way to predict him at all. Since I like him, perhaps I'm deluding myself into thinking that Naruto likes me back, but there's always that chance that he's just a nice person and that I've been on the friend ladder the entire time. But he kissed me damn it so SOMETHING must be going on.

Worst case scenario: Naruto doesn't like me that way, I still like him, we continue being friends, I hook up with somebody else, he'll get jealous and suddenly realizes he's been in love with me all along.

No, wait, that wasn't the worst case scenario; that was my life projected as a lame ass teen series/movie. Okay, this is the worst case scenario: Naruto doesn't like me, I still like him, he will never like me back and I will still like him for a long time. Yeah, that one sounds about right.

But wait- I can be optimistic if I force it; best case scenario: I like him, he likes me, casual date is a complete success, we make out for extended periods of time, and the number of dates we go on correlate with the number of bases we pass with casual date being zero, so our official first date would be first base, date two would be second base, and so on and so forth.

I've been a good kid for some time now, there's no way karma could fuck this up for me. Or so I fucking hoped.

But oh who was I kidding, nothing ever goes as I plan it. To prove it Naruto was now flirting with some girls right in front of me. The douche bag. And he even had the audacity to ask me if I was feeling alright. What the fuck man, I now that I must have looked like if someone kicked my puppy but he should be well aware that HE was the reason for my sour mood.

I finally decided I couldn't take it anymore but at the same time I wasn't going to be the first one to bring up the exchange that happened between us two weeks ago. So being the self-reliant guy that I always been I decided that there was only one way to maturely deal with this. Sabotage. Yeah, I'm that awesome.

I pretended to sneeze, being careful not to cover my face so I could 'accidentally' spray the girls with spit. Needless to say the scurried away like rodents looking for the nearest bathroom to clean themselves of my germs. Admittedly I don't blame them. With the swine flu and everything going around it's never wrong to be cautious.

"Dude, what was that for?" Naruto laughed as we trotted down the steps.

"No reason. Just fucking with them," I said. "You weren't seriously interested were you?"

He shrugged, "I don't see anything wrong with you know, practice."

"What practice," I scoffed, "What, you have to practice talking to girls? They're people too, I mean, it's not like they speak a completely different language."

"And that's why you've never had a girlfriend." He dared joke.

"Bitch, I've never had a girlfriend because there's no girl who I wanted to have as my girlfriend yet," was my aggressive defense.

"Right. But if you really wanted a girlfriend like, Hinata maybe, then-" he started to argue but I cut him off before he could diverge more in the subject.

"I am right, now shut up or else I will kick your ass right here, right now."

Naruto laughed but veered off slightly so that he was more than an arm's length away from me. Pussy.

"I'm not even kidding," I warned him as he shook his head in a condescending manner. We walked out of school property and down a path until we hit a street. It was Friday again and we had previously decided to go to his house.

During our trek to his place Naruto asked me point blank for about the fifty-sixth time if I liked Hinata or not. It was getting annoying so I decided to throw him off the loop when I said yes. So then he went off in this little spaz-tastic moment where he gloated in my face. And then he started to plot it all out for me:

First I was gonna have to stop being a douchebag (Impossible. How can I stop when I never was one? ... Okay, no.), second, don't freak out and start doing stupid obvious shit (um, too late there, buddy, too late), and third, ask her to Tenten's dance thing since it'd be perfectly casual since it doesn't have to be asked in a way that it would be labeled as a date (like, lie and say that I need to be there since Tenten's gonna break my arm if I don't, which is entirely possible).

A friends only thing, and then just make it into one as the night progresses (for this one I just gave Naruto this _look_ but the bastard kept right on plotting). Just pretend that it is a date though she'll be oblivious- it's like, a school event so essentially a kind of safe zone so it'll cut down on the awkwardness since we'll be in a group and all. And then if I don't fuck up by then, ask her out on a real date at the end of the dance. Perfect plan, as Naruto proclaimed.

Until I laughed in his face- not the 'ha ha, you so funny,' kind, but that sharp, derisive snort of, 'I am incredulous, stop being so ridiculous,' sort.

"What?" Naruto shrugged, mindlessly ripping grass from the perfectly planted sod beneath us, "Dude, just ask her out, it's not that hard."

"I never said it was," I frowned.

"If it's about the money, I'll frigging buy both tickets for you," Naruto added.

"No," I immediately said and bristled. Honestly, was he that clueless that he couldn't tell that I had no interest whatsoever in dating Hinata or was he just pretending just to tick me off. And besides, there's something about a man's pride that gets wounded when one couldn't even take out a girl except if it's on somebody else's budget.

I mean, it is one thing to get treated to lunch- food is one of the essential necessities of life after all- but beyond that... I really don't want to be _that_ guy, and to be honest, the only reason why I don't mind leeching lunches off of people is because I can make a joke out of it. Which I will toss in as a throwaway joke right about... now.

"Ino already knows that you buy me lunch sometimes- if you buy us tickets, then she'll really start making the gay jokes." And right after I said it I realized that this was the perfect opportunity to make Naruto address the issue. Did he or did he not like me that way?

He took the bait and laughed, "Wait, what? She makes gay jokes about us?"

"Yeah, like the other day she was like, 'oh how cute, you guys share clothes? Do you guys have sleep overs too?'" I mimicked.

"Dude, you better ask Hinata out soon, or else Ino is going to think that you really are gay."

That wasn't at all what I wanted to hear but he was dead wrong if he thought I wasn't going to push the subject further. "Wait until she finds out that you broke up with Sakura just so you could hang out with me." I said that flippantly.

Naruto, apparently a little hurt that I pulled the Sakura card on him, snorted bitterly, "Yeah right, if I were gay I'd still go out with her... not like there was any sex involved so it wouldn't be any different. And even then, if I were gay, I wouldn't go out with you."

That hurt, no joke, but there was no way I was turning the other cheek without hitting back. "I'm almost insulted. No wait, I am insulted. Fuck you, man. If I were gay, I wouldn't go out with you either."

"Well it's a good thing we got that out of the way." He spat a little more vehemently than what the situation called for. He almost made me feel like the bad guy. Almost, because there was no way I was forgetting that I was the victim here.

"Why, is it because in case one of us did turn gay we could still be friends without being awkward? I bet if girls keep withholding sex from you, you'd turn gay." I retorted.

"I bet you'll turn gay the first time you do sleep with a girl, realize you don't like it and start trying dudes instead." he shot back.

"I bet you are in the middle of turning gay because you still wear that gay orange collared polo shirt that nobody else wears anymore."

"I bet you're in the middle of turning gay because you notice what I wear."

"Well I bet you're in the middle of turning gay because I know you're gonna take my advice and stop wearing that shirt."

"I bet you're going gay because you give out fashion advice."

"I bet you're going gay because you said the phrase 'fashion advice'!"

We glared at each other for a short second before turning our faces away and glaring at opposite directions. This was not how I planned our conversation was going to end but there you have it. I must be the bastard son of whoever created the Murphy's Law because for me everything that could go wrong went wrong.

But I should have known things were going to turn out like this today. There were warning signs everywhere- that which I ignored.

Blatant Warning Signs:

1. My usual way of going to school was blocked by road construction, thus forcing me to duck under a ladder and around a pile of sandbags and over several concrete medians while running as to avoid construction workers who could bend me in half or throw power tools at me or berate me or something. That's right, under a ladder. Just because I didn't wanna walk an extra block.

2. I got to school early this same morning and during the short breakfast shift in the cafeteria, they ran out of chocolate chip muffins. That's never happened to me before in my life- well it could've, but never when I had enough change to purchase one. I still ate half of Naruto's but still. Still.

3. We don't have assigned seats in my psychology class, but since we're slaves of habit, we've all pretty much been sitting in the same seats since day one, but today somebody took my usual seat near the back window, and I had to sit front row, center. Just because I'm the scholarship boy, everyone knows I have to do pretty well, but contrary to nerd stereotypes, I hate sitting in the front. And in the center. It just goes against everything I've ever stood for. Granted, that day I had the best seat since we ended up watching a movie the entire period, but nonetheless.

4. I lost my writing utensil. Of course, permanently borrowing Shino's pen was an obvious upgrade over the chewed up pencil I found on the floor near my locker, but c'mon.

5. I found an apple in my locker. Normally, this would've been a great thing if I had memories of me actually putting an apple in my locker, but it was obvious that the actual act of placing the fruit in my locker happened a long time ago. A long, long, time ago. The fucking apple was breathing, I swear to god. It tried to talk to me. I had to use old essays to scoop it up and toss it into the garbage. So not only is my locker the holder of the holy grail, but it's also the birthplace of the killer tomatoes.

If only I read the signs correctly. God, I'm such an idiot. Then maybe I could've postponed our talk until after the weekend. Or at least anticipated it and had forced it to happen earlier in the week, or something. But anyway it's too late to dwell on that. I always prided myself for being a 'what now?' kind of person instead of a 'what if?' loser.

So in the end we continued the rest of our trek to his house in tense silence. Not even when we took the public bus did we speak, although the fact that he paid for my transportation fee without me having to say a word was a definite plus. And the fact that even when pissed he didn't rub it in just shows how much of a nice guy he truly is. Christ, how could I have ever fallen for someone like that! Honestly.

It was long afterwards that we got to Naruto's home. He lived on this huge estate near the forests at the base of the mountains at the edge of the city, where all the other old money mansions were. And if anyone cares, all the new money mansions were on top of the mountains. So going to his house was sometimes a long, arduous affair, especially if you go by public transportation, because you had to keep switching at the stations and onto a bus at one point and then most buses don't make stops around here, because if you're rich, who in their right minds would take a public bus?

Well apparently Naruto would, but that's beside the point since we already established that Naruto was anything but normal.

Once we got there my ticked mood had pretty much wore down but before I could speak Naruto's mobile rang and he answered it while making his way to his room. I shrugged at it and decided to make my way to his kitchen 'cause after all I was hungry. Opening his fridge I saw some leftover turkey and me being the mannerless bastard I always been just simply went ahead and helped myself to it. Naruto wouldn't mind, and even if he did he wouldn't say anything about it.

After finishing my meal I went to where the big TV was and lost myself channel-surfing as I waited for Naruto to finish his phone call. And let me tell you he sure took his fucking time with it too.

I easily got bored though but thankfully Akamaru, the dog I rescued and then guilt-tripped Naruto into keeping because there was a -no pets- policy where I lived, waltz in the room. I was busy playing with the little dog when Naruto finally decided to show up and sit beside me on his couch.

"You know," I said, as the dog squirmed under my hand, "I think you should shave your dog."

"Why?" Naruto asked me while giving me a puzzled look.

I shrugged. "Because have you ever seen those naked rats? When we shave this thing, you'll see it was actually a rat all along."

"Right, because rats like to hump everything too." he answered with a roll of his eyes but I could see that he was very much amused.

"Damn straight! And then I won't feel so bad when I punt it down the hall."

Of course I was joking since I'm a big dog lover and all but Naruto's lips still stretched into a very thin line as he narrowed his eyes at me and told me sternly. "Don't throw my dog, dude."

I held up a squishy dogtoy and the dog bounced up and down trying to rip it out of my fingers. I threw it so it landed on the other side of the room, and the animal sputtered after it, careening into the wall with a solid thud. "Yeah, yeah, anyway, what was up with that long ass phone convo?"

"Oh yeah..." Naruto said to me in a low voice. "Sakura called."

I snorted. "Oh? How is that frigid bitch? Still jealous of me? You guys finally filed the paper work and heading for divorce?"

Naruto smacked me in the shoulder. I shoved him back. "No," he said looking away from me. But then apparently he decided that he wanted to see my reaction to whatever news he was going to unload so he turned back to face me, "…she said that she wants to get back together."

And let me tell ya, that definitely got a reaction from me, and it wasn't a good one either. "WHAT?!" I'd all but bark out. "You can't be serious! What did you say?"

"Hey chill out!" Naruto defended. "I didn't say that I would."

"But you also didn't say you turned her down" I argued and felt my stomach drop when he briefly broke eye contact with me, even if it only was for a nanosecond. Now suddenly I felt very apprehensive. "You didn't."

"I just told her that I would think about it."

"You CAN'T!!!"

"And why not?!" he questioned me like if the answer wasn't already obvious. "Why are you being so insistent with this anyway?"

Exasperated, I sighed and rolled my eyes upwards as I roughly ran my fingers through my scalp. "You know, just because she's hot to the point that it's intimidating and belongs in that whole section of true, rare beauty doesn't mean you have to keep her. Bang her and be done."

Okay, I know that last comment was unneeded and completely chauvinistic, but Sakura seriously hates me. I wish you heard half the slander she told Naruto in attempt to end our friendship. Oh well, I didn't really mean it anyway, I just say meaner shit than I usually do when I feel like I'm getting screwed. I mean, I really don't even have any place to say that myself, being that I've yet to 'bang' anyone. But we've already established the fact that right now, I'm being a dick.

"Can we just drop it?" Naruto dared ask like if he could just drop this bomb on me and expect me to just take it upfront without looking for cover. But you know what, forget it. He obviously doesn't care about how I feel about the matter and honestly, I was a fool for deluding myself into thinking that he did.

I huffed and stood up, "Whatever Naruto, I'm leaving."

"What, why?"

"Because" I said avoiding his confused gaze. "I really like you, I do, but if I stay here any longer I'm gonna start resenting your guts." And it was true, I was _this_ close to wringing his neck for being so inconsiderate and acting so clueless 'cause I was sure he was faking it. You don't just kiss a guy and not hope for a reaction. My respect for Naruto was dropping like a bag of rocks and that little Sakura thing just about buried it.

Surprisingly though I didn't get very far as Naruto literally flung himself at me and grabbed me by my ankle consequently making me lose my balance and making me drop to the floor with him.

"What gives!" I snarled while turning around to sit on my ass as I glared the one responsible for my fall.

Naruto also lifted himself from the floor and sat on his knees. He gave me a guilty grin as he scratched the back of his head. "Hehe, made you stay." I of course didn't respond to his humor which I guess is what prompted him to look down at his hands and continue talking. "I, I don't want you to go. At least not like this."

"Oh" I said raising an eyebrow yet oh so very tired of his vagueness, "What do you mean 'like this'?"

"You know, like mad at me. Dude, I noticed that you been pissed all week and I hate to think it's all because of me."

"Well news flash Naruto, it is all because of you! What, did you actually expect me to go back to normal after you out of nowhere kissed me two weeks ago? Sorry to tell you this but I don't work like that and you can't just go on pretending it never happened!"

My little outlash made him flinch to the point that he had to completely turn his face away from me. He repositioned himself so that he was now hugging his knees while giving me his back. I almost growled at his tactlessness until I heard him sniffled. Now it was my turn to look confused.

"I knew it" he said and it sounded like he was trying really hard not to breakdown, "You probably hate me right now don't you? I'm sorry. Even I'm not sure what came over me that day. I thought that if I acted like it was nothing then maybe you would think so too. I just didn't want you to shove me away. So please, can't we just forget it ever happened? I don't want you to hate me."

"Huh, what?" Forget what I said earlier about being confused. Now I was plain lost, indubitably. "What are you talking about? Why would I hate you?"

"Don't play dumb Kiba. I know you were disgusted with me kissing you like that. That's the reason why you didn't stop by my house later that day even though I invited you over. Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out."

Wait, what? Was my hearing off or did he just say what I think he said? Did Naruto just confess that the only reason he had been avoiding the subject was because he thought I wasn't okay with it? And is so, did he just indirectly implied that he likes me that way?

So many questions. And since I'm already at it why not ask myself the bigger question- when the heck did my life turn into a highschool drama? It was like someone suddenly spewed forth prime time television into my life. And let me tell you, my life already sucks enough as it is without all this added hyped up drama.

NO! I cannot allow this to happen! No more drama in my life, please! Drama's so stupid. But it's like annoying people or eight page essays. You just can't escape. Of course that didn't mean that I wasn't going to do my best to intercept it. That's why I tried to calm myself down and proceed with this as levelheaded as possible.

"Naruto you dumb idiot." I said grabbing him by the shoulder and turning him around to face me. "Did you forget? The only reason I didn't come over was because I had to work at the pet shop all day. It had nothing to do with me not wanting to see you."

"You're lying" he sternly accused me.

"No I'm not. It's the truth, word for word."

He sighed and looked away from me with a sad smile on his face. "I never thought I'd see the day when you grow soft on me enough to lie about something like this only to make me feel better. That proves that you aren't as crappy of a friend like you think you are."

Oh fuck being calm. That shit only works for people like Mahatma Gandhi anyways. When you are a naturally whiny person like myself you know that kicking and screaming is the only way to go. And let me tell you that my credentials as a little brother certainly prepared me enough for that role.

"Cut the shit Naruto! Are you even listening to what I said?" I yelled frustrated with his stubbornness. I positioned myself in front of him and started shaking him by the shoulders to get him to listen. "If I say it didn't bother me then it doesn't bother me. In fact the only reason I've been pissed all week was because you wouldn't do it again!"

"That enough Kiba. It's one thing to say you weren't disgusted because you want me to feel better, but it's another thing entirely to pretend that you liked it."

"Damn it Naruto, look into my eyes when I'm talking with you will ya? I'm not fucking lying!"

"Yeah well that's pretty hard to believe from someone who cried wolf so many times!" he yelled back at me and I mentally cursed because I knew that fact would someday resurface to bite me in the ass. "You forget that we've been best buds for years and I frigging know you enough to know you only talk about women's tits! And that you lie compulsively for your own selfish reasons! I bet that you are only being nice to me to secure yourself a free meal for the rest of the school year!"

"Take that back you little wimp!" I snarled angrily while shoving him away. "How dare you bring my financial problems into this? That's low, even for you. And so what if I only talk about girls? Have you ever seen me with one? No! It shouldn't take a genius to figure out why!"

"Yeah because you suck at getting dates!" he retorted while shoving me back as well. "Dude, anyone with eyes could tell you that!"

"WRONG!" I snapped back while pushing him away harder. "The real reason is because somehow I always knew that I liked you but wasn't conscious of it until two weeks ago!"

"Stop lying to me Kiba!" he shouted clenching his fist.

"For the last time I'm not fucking lying!"

And then he fucking punched me in the face. The jerk! No duh that I punched him right back just as hard but then he fucking flung himself at me and we ended up on the floor wrestling one another for a good minute. After some more effort I was finally able to pin him back to the floor. I was sitting on his stomach and held his wrists over his head with a strong grip.

"Must you always be so fucking stubborn?! Why can't you get through that thick skull of yours that I like you, you dimwit!"

He struggled some more trying to get out of my hold but when he saw it was futile he settled for glaring at me. "If you like me so much then why don't you prove it already?"

I glared at him for a short second until I registered his comment. All of the sudden Hana's voice rang in my brain as I remembered all the important things she taught me while growing up. The one I dubbed-

Hana's Unsolicited List of Life Lessons for Kiba:

Life lesson #24: "Don't have drunken one night stands. Chances are, the chick's really ugly or really fucked up. And then you'll just regret it and want to kill yourself. Also, worst case scenario- they'll think that actually meant something and not ever leave. Ever. Or, no, no, even worse: the chick gets pregnant, and then you're really just fucked for life. Also, you have to be able to emotionally handle it. You probably wouldn't be able to handle it, because you're weak."

Life Lesson #13: "Do your food shopping at big supermarkets. Those dusty bags of chips are dusty because they've been there since the beginning of time. Also, shit's usually more expensive at convenience stores anyway."

Life lesson#62: "If you're gonna punch someone because they really deserve it but they'll probably be the type of person who'd try to press charges- make sure you run up at them in their blind spot so they can't see you. And maybe throw a sack over their head too. It's like, why not, you're already playing dirty."

Life lesson #23: "If you think a girl likes you, they probably don't. You're not that cool, and you're underprivileged. And the girl's probably just a tease anyway."

Life Lesson #9: "Sometimes it isn't worth it to get into a fistfight with someone or maybe you simply can't because he/she is your superior and you'll get in trouble if you talkback. In those cases it always useful to know what car they drive. Then you can just key it in retaliation. It's effective and satisfactory without any blood having to be spilled.

Life lesson #58: "Don't complain about whiplash and shit when it's your own fault you didn't put on a seatbelt."

Life lesson #15: "If you want some unconditional loving, do not expect it from a cat that your ex neighbor left behind. Besides, a cat's idea of appreciation has to do with pissing in every corner of the room because it thinks it owns everything.

Life lesson #41: "Respect your older sister or she will end you."

Life lesson #3: "Don't be a pussy. If you started something don't you dare back down from it later. Take the plunge and see it through to the end. Who knows, the end result might be better than what you expected."

It was then that I realized two things. First, that I had a freaking awesome sister. Who needs parents are their philosophical crap when you have a sister you can count on to always say it like it is? The second realization was that if I wanted Naruto to believe me then I had to stop with the half-assed attempts and really throw myself out there.

So without further hesitation I took the risk and captured his lips in a bruising kiss. It didn't last long as I quickly pulled away and got off him as I waited for a reaction. Naruto's eyes were glazed over as if lost in a trance. Guess my kiss really took him by surprise. Once out of his lull he locked eyes with me and grinned.

"I guess you really do like me after all." He said as he sat up to lightly peck me on the lips. "Does that mean we are together now?"

"One condition" I said as I grabbed him by the back of the head and brought him in for another kiss. I was still somewhat unable to believe that it was this easy. Not that I'm complaining or anything (weird right? that's definitely a first) but I just wanted to make sure.

"What?"

"Call Sakura and tell her it's over for good."

"Done, but only if you promise not to withhold me from sex like she did." he joked as he placed a hand on my chest.

"Deal" I affirmed as I plunged for an even deeper kiss. It was my way of distracting him as my hands grabbed him by the hips and lifted him to sit on my lap, making sure that my dick rubbed against is ass in the process. He gasped when he felt it and removed his mouth form my own. I maliciously smirked at his startled face and playfully bit his lips as I said. "Just letting you know that I'm not gonna be the one bottoming."

"What? No way!"

"Yes way!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Yes way!"

"No wa- I mean yes way!" I exclaimed barely catching myself from being tricked by him.

Naruto gave me a once over before resigning himself. "Fine" he said as he brought our lips together again. "But you better frigging make me scream your name or it's over."

I laughed at that because there was no fucking way I was ever going to let our relationship be over now that I finally had him. I sure hope the neighbors had soundproof walls because Naruto was going to be screaming my name for a very long time to come.


End file.
